


Dear Diary...

by Zwiezraczek



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Allura as Sharpey but friendly, Alternate Universe - High School, Bilingual Lance (Voltron), Bisexual Ezor, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Diary/Journal, Eventual Keith/Lance/Shiro (Voltron), Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Gay Shiro (Voltron), Hunk (Voltron) is so Pure, I still don't know, Keith and Lance have funny nicknames for each other, Lance's diary, Lesbian Allura (Voltron), M/M, Music Band, Pansexual Pidge | Katie Holt, Pining Lance (Voltron), Polyamory, Polyamourous character, Sassy Lance (Voltron), Sassy Pidge | Katie Holt, The Hex Girls and the Boy, Troy Bolton Shiro, a cute Pidgeon, an awesome cook Hunk, but Lance loves hsm, but without Troy Bolton, diary entries, emo/bad boy Keith, in east high as in hsm, who actually isn't
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2019-04-23 20:58:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14340771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zwiezraczek/pseuds/Zwiezraczek
Summary: “13/09/2017 Dear Diary,my name's Lance and I hate chocolate”Lance would lie if he said he wasn't nervous about beginning a diary and sharing his feelings in it.





	1. first entries

**Author's Note:**

> I fell into the Voltron vibe and into multishipping... Is that bad? 
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy reading this little thing! :)

“ _13/09/2017 Dear Diary,_

_my name's Lance and I hate chocolate”_

 

He looked at what he wrote down, with disgust and sighing while taking his pen between his fingers again. All damn Tumblr's fault and this stupid challenge. Why in the world he had to take this to heart, huh? Lance, you're actually a dumbass, really. He let his pen slip on the blank page, filling it with his most beautiful handwriting.

 

“Okay, I panicked. _Okay?_ It's the first time I'm doing this kind of thing, like it's so damn cliché buddy. Lance, you're a cliché. Ya know, the kind of boy listening to Taylor Swift (God bless her) while eating some chocolate (because I like chocolate actually: that was an error okay?), having a mask on his face (because skin care is the most important thing in the world), taking long-ass baths (at the point that your sister is yelling at you while knocking with rage at the bathroom door, “Diva” I quote). Me, Lance McClain.

Well, I guess my grown-ass me (hello by the way, you handsome! *wink* did I just winked at myself while writing in a diary? On a scale of on to ten how hopeless I am? Twenty-three?) would like to know how I feel, not that it's interesting or what but... It kind of is. Ya know, just in case my future sucks, I'll see how my life sucked in high school (it doesn't, huh buddy?).

Sooo. I'm in East High. Yes. You're _absolutely_ right. The same fucking school in which they shoot High School Musical (don't you dare to tell me that I had a Troy Bolton phase during high school, because one it's false I was always a Chad lover, two how did I get in the basketball team and three how could I find a passion best than my guitar?). Yes, the whole Wildcats thing is true. No, I haven't heard anyone singing because they had a bad grade or an existential crisis (but if the things won't change I'll be the one in Troy Bolton style, I swear). In fact, I'd like to see this happen... And that's why Pidge says I'm hopeless. _She_ 's hopeless with her maths and science, and all the informatics stuff and... I'm a bad friend bitching at my friend. But actually, Hunks says I'm not _that_ hopeless, I mean it's the guy having a Zeke story in real life (if you tell me that you, older Lance forgot who Zeke is in HSM I'm offended, vexed and disappointed. Like, Zeke the cook with his _crème brûlée_. Buddy, really?) who's comforting me. How low am I? Not too low, I agree; it could be worse (and it actually is).

Weeell... You must remember Keith. Keith Kogane. Mullet. The Kpop boy. The Sasuke. C'mon you must remember his soft face (I must ask him what his skin routine is), his beautiful sky-like eyes shining like filled with a dozen of stars, his hair (and _the_ ponytail, _oh kill me already_ ). Yes, this one. The new kid last year, that you _just_ called a, let me quote, “edgy Kpop singer”. Sometimes you should think before speaking, buddy. So yes, he kind of... Hates you now? Not _that_ kind of hate, but you're just the... How he says... Oh, yeah “Half empty brain, the other half is filled with air” or my favourite “The loud _thing_ ” (you can actually imagine his voice saying this with this special tone, the half-pissed, half-bitter, half-joking, half-wanting-you-to-get-the-fuck-off). And well, merry war? (I'm quoting Pidge, she said that because Keith and me reminds her Benedick and Beatrice in _Much Ado About something_ by Shakespeare, or whatever. Never read. Not planning to.) And well, I was talking about Keith. I have to admit that I kind of... Fell in love? Like, not the flirty love in which I'm the master (even if each time I'm breaking up with the girl before we meet. Yes, that's how Lance works. And no, not because she stopped texting me. It's false.) but the kind of love that... Ya know, butterflies in the stomach, kind of feeling dizzy and looking at the person with your sweetest look. I can't stop looking at him when we're in the same class... Of course I'm discreet! Who do you think I am?! (Pidge always lied anyway.) I'm just winking at him sometimes, and he goes “pfff” while rolling his eyes, and I'm giving him a little smile, and he looks again at the board. I think he gets my message. And this Keith is dating the boy. Like yes, _the_ boy. (I have my chances then, at least he seems to be gay, I'm bi sooo weell... It can and will obviously work.) The guy no other than Shiro _fucking_ Takashi. Yes, the basketball player. The Bolton boy. With his gorgeous Gabriella.

The whole high school fucking loves him, students, teachers, Keith... Even Pidgeon! (and believe me, she's not easy to be friend with!) But, let's get straight to the point. who. the. fuck. on. earth. bleaches. the. top. of. his. fucking. hair. (no capital letters, I do what I want it's my diary) Maybe in space, maybe in Japan, maybe whoever cares where it's possible, but not in United States of America. No. I disagree. Plus, he sticks to the status quo as nobody in this school (okay, he's friend with everybody, but hey, “everybody has its place and do not fucking move from your place or you'll die” attitude. I'm not exaggerating, I swear.) and plays the cool, no _ultra_ cool in front of Keith. Don't you dare to tell me it's because it's his boyfriend (the worst word ever, like it's his boy, and his friend at the same time? Dumb shit buddy. Yes, sometimes I'm a philosopher).”

 

He didn't remark, he was still writing after five pages. He filled them with a great rage, underlining, crossing words out, gasping, biting his lower lip, scratching his nose nervously, trying to calm down while writing about Shiro... He really needed that dumb Tumblr shitty challenge.

 

* * *

 

 

Lance was in second year, he had already passed the first step to become Troy Bolton by avoiding it like the plague: sucking at basketball and sport in general. He _tried_ to avoid it. Music was his life, and everybody was aware of that. When music flew through his veins he felt finally alive, when his nails pinched the strings of his old guitar he could actually hear all he had in his heart, and he hoped people would notice it. His family wasn't really a musical one, but still they supported him as much as they could; because music in Cuba was sacred, because even if you weren't able to do music you grew up with music, and even the less musical Cuban family had a degree in music in front of an American family. Lance grew up with some music in his ears, with Spanish in his heart, with smile on his lips.

He joined a band in the middle of his junior year, “The Hex Girls and the Boy” (the boy being him, obviously). Even if Pidge said to him that the girls looked like “Trouble and nothing more”, he accepted to be their guitarist and sometimes vocal. Pidge sighted as Hunk patted her hair. They were just a bit afraid that their friend would make a bad choice -as always-, that they would pick him up, building him from the pieces the girls left of him... They were wrong. Ezor was a great girl, a redhead sunshine that adored being playful with Lance: they both were flirting around, just for fun and holding hands sometimes.

This tuesday evening, as they had another meet-up in the empty room, Lance winked at her, with his famous gunshots, and she fell dramatically before Lance could actually catch her. She loudly hit the floor, butt first against the ground. He could hear a little scream escaping from her mouth, and then some hair fell on her face from her ponytail. He saw her blowing few locks from her eyes, passing a strand of hair behind her ear the other hand on her butt. Lance couldn't help himself, but after being scared because of her fall, now seeing that everything was alright, he burst into laughter as she pouted.

“I thought you were a good catcher, Lancey. Deception. An outrage!”

“Disgrace. For shame”, he followed the lyrics as he always did. It was a part of the game they played together. Both of them being really too much into Disney movies. He offered her his hand.

“He asked for trouble the moment he came”, she continued singing, taking his hand.

“The choir finished”, Acxa asked them, having a hand on her hip and looking at them like a mother.

She definitely was the leader of the group. Lance remembered that he tried to flirt with her a the beginning, which was a _really_ bad idea. She looked gorgeous, even the gayest of the man in school _cough_ Shiro _cough_ would admit that she had something sparkling in her eyes, under her indigo hair falling on her face. She always wore a beanie, because she liked it she once said to Lance, and a leather jacket. She somehow, in some waaay, with eyes closed in a dark room, looked like Keith in some moments; maybe a gesture of her hand, her fingers running through her hair when her beanie was off -because too hot in here-.

“With who do I have to work”, she asked herself after taking a deep breath.

“I'm kind of... Your best friend”, Ezor tried with the best smile she could do, which was irresistible even for Acxa. She couldn't look at her for long, because she looked too cute to be real, and because she knew it was over for her.

“Okay for you”, she finally replied half-smiling. “And you, the “Boy””

“Guitar, he said imitating himself playing guitar, Cuba”, he pursued moving his hips a bit, “ _calor y la playa_ ”, he tried raising his shoulders and winking at her.

“Hopeless, do you know that”, she asked looking at him. She liked this boy too much, especially with her best friend: both of them provided something to this little trio, maybe some sun rays and laughter from nowhere.

“You love us, Ax”, Ezor said kissing her cheek and hugging her as Acxa let herself into her best friend's arms; but while seeing Lance approach she rose her eyebrow and Lance just sulked for a while before she let him come to hug both of them.

 

* * *

 

 

Everyday, for lunch time people were used to see a bunch of three individuals racing to the rooftop; two individuals because the third always ended-up being left alone, and finally he didn't cared because at the end he was the one not feeling out-of-breath. Pidge and Lance, on their side were always racing between people, bumping into some of them. It was a question of honour, and Pidge already told him that he had nothing to loose. Because he had no honour. And Lance sprinted to the stairs, with a yelling Pidge behind him as he was laughing hard. Lance arrived first today, a personal little victory, short of breath, a hand on the wall as Pidge just hold on to his shirt, catching her breath.

“I won”, Lance finally manages to articulate.

“You cheated, as always”; Pidge's voice was weak, sounding like she was about to faint, but that was they way she ended-up after every race with Lance.

“Tells the one who actually pushed me against the wall on the third floor.”

“T'was fun.”

“Not as fun as your face now.”

“Mad”, she said as she hit his forehead with her index.

Lance made a little scream before laughing. The sun kissed his skin, his friend's skin, Hunk's skin -who just arrived, as calm as ever looking at them with despair, how much he loved his Bros?-, a little wind in his hair and nobody there. As always. Eating there was their favourite activity -besides bitching around, teasing each other, joking about Lance, telling Pidge how a smol precious bean she was and obviously eating what Hunk cooked for them because let's face it: his cookies were _bomb_ -. Pidge, Hunk and Lance. Best Bros Forever. BBF. And this has been their spot since the first day of high school.

They knew each other since childhood. It was difficult for people to not see them being around together every moment of the day -except in classes where they were separated for some hours and reunited for others-. They all had their favourite place here, on the rooftop. Hunk had a veto on the bench, because he was the one cooking and offering them good deserts they couldn't really argue about it if the wanted some of his delicious pastries. Lance was sitting in front of Hunk and Pidge, cross-legged, hands near his hips and enjoying the sun for a moment. Pidge was always leaning against the wall of the building, next to the flower pots as she held in one hand her book and in the other her lunch, at her foot her smartphone, she managed to put a music with the hand in which she held a book. Always the same song, because Lance loved it, Shakira _La Bicicleta_ , the song that reminded him of his childhood -even if the song was relatively new-; Hunk and Pidge loved seeing him faking a duo on the roof, some kind of chacha, with his love for music everything seemed so easy. His moves seemed flawless, at least he imagined them to be that way; spinning around while having his hand on his stomach: in mind the Lambada's choreography which he loved -and learned to play this song early on his guitar-. He finally picked Pidge as his partner after a few moves, making her turn around several times as her laughter filled the hot air of East High; Hunk immediately wanted to do the same, so Lance let them dance together, playing the coach running around them, counting, clapping and encouraging them. Their faces with smiles, they danced like this for a few moments turning in circle, holding hands as Lance sang with his perfect Cuban accent. When the song finally ended, the trio sat again to take a pause, to drink something, eat one of Hunk's cookies and to enjoy the sun on their faces. Pidge leant again on the wall, still a little bit dizzy because of all these spins, and a smile which ... Fades away in a moment. As if the dance they just made was... Wrong. Lance looked at her, his head tilted on the side, with puppy eyes: he knew Pidge couldn't resist the puppy eyes. And when Hunk saw Lance doing his favourite look, he immediately put his eyes on Pidge, who was still a little uncomfortable.

“Piiiiiiiiiidge”, Lance tried with a smile. “Don't try to lie to uncle Lance and tell us what is happening in your little beautiful head.”

“What are you talking about”, she gave tit for tat while adjusting her glasses, her cheeks flushing a bit.

“About this face, right Hunk”, Lance said arms crossed on his chest while looking right in Pidge's eye.

“I agree with Lance”, Hunk said. “Plus, it's been a while you're like... Into dancing? More than often I guess. Not that it bothers us or anything”, he says as if he wanted to justify himself. “But... It's not like... _You_?”

It made Pidge sight.

“… Okay”, Pidge finally said. “I mean, I can't hide anything from you guys. Couldn't keep it in, heaven knows I tried”, she finally sang as Lance rolled his eyes.

“Piiiiidge don't do that to me and tell us, please?”

“Okay... Well, I once talked with Shiro about it...”

Lance grimaced. He knew Pidge and Shiro were... _Friends_? At the same level as Ezor and Acxa for him, Pidge really liked Shiro, even knowing that Lance hated him for an obvious reason: Keith. That hurt him a bit when he learned that Shiro and her once get a milkshake together, with Keith, speaking about science and stuff like this. He first was jealous of her because she could talk with Keith, just like this, without any reason, and then felt betrayed. Pidge made him remember how hard it was for Hunk and her to let their “baby”, as they called him sometimes, fly away with the “Witches”. Fair enough.

“Don't make this face Lance”, we already talked about this, she continued raising an eyebrow while looking at him.

“I literally said nothing, Pidgeon.”

“You called me Pidgeon, baby.”

“Pidgeon.”

“Shaggy.”

“That's rude Velma.”

“Guys, I don't know about you but I want to know what Pidge's going to say”; Hunk said interrupting their little game.

“Right”, Pidge answered encircling her knees with her arms, she hesitated for a long moment, making Lance moving forward to her. “I'm a cheerleader now”, she finally admitted when she felt Lance presence a bit too much.

A blank. A loong blank. Lance looked at Hunk with horror in his eyes as he moved away. He felt betrayed. So betrayed by his friend. How in the world she could hide it from Hunk and him? For how many time? And why in the world she became a cheerleader? She was _never_ into dance, this gym stuff and... What did he missed?!

“Pidge, repeat please because... Fuck why _you_ didn't tell _me_ ”, he asked first pointing at her then at himself. “Oh _my_ God. Pidge how, when and why?!”

“Lance calm down”, she softly said still holding her knees. “I needed it for my résumé if I want to get in a good school, plus if I want a scholarship having a crazy ton of activities helps... And I always went to “quiet” clubs and Shiro told me...”

“Pidge, where is the fucking problem”, Lance asked a little bit pissed. “You like science, don't you? Yes you like it. You were in the scientific club last year, you helped in the gardening club, you helped children in schools with their homework... Like, _excuse me_ , but if _Mister_ Shiro thinks that being a cheerleader will like... Highlight your résumé...!”

“Enlighten”, Pidge corrected him with a stoic face.

“Whatever. Clapping hands and waving will help you to get a scholarship in Yale? Let me laugh. I'm dumb and all, but that doesn't work on me.”

“You said you were dumb”, Hunk pointed out before getting killed by Lance's eyes. “Never mind buddy.”

“Lance, it's more than that... I actually made it through auditions, Allura was really kind with me and I... Kind of like it?”

Lance sighted. He overreacted to all of that. It's because the _fucker_ just... Makes him angry, okay? He shouldn't be so rude with Pidge, she always supported him, always helped him with anything he asked, she was here for him. An him? What a shitty friend he felt like. He breathed heavily and looked softly at Pidge. He didn't want to hurt her, the most important for him was that his Bros were having fun, feeling good, feeling loved.

“I'm sorry Pidge”, he finally dared to say. “I was rude with you, I shouldn't”, he whispered really sorry.

But the second after, he had this smile on his face, the face of a joker.

“Plus, now I know that you're cheerleading with Allura, can I get a date with her? I know you can do it for your friend Lance, huh Pidgeon”, his question was playful, a smirk appearing on his face as he said it. Pidge just sighted amused.

“Don't you dare Don Juan”, Pidge replied amused.

“I was sure that I could count on you like four three, two and you'll be there. That's what friends are supposed to do.”

“Don't Bruno Mars me Lance”, she laughed.

“Oooh, Pidge I love you so muuuuch”, he yelled and then hugged her hard.

“Get off me Lance! Get off me!”

They both could only hear Hunk's laugh behind them, eating his lunch as his Bros were hugging. The sun was there and nothing could break this moment. Even Shiro.

 

* * *

 

 

English class. Tuesday. His favourite hour seeing Keith's face and his soft little smile when he listened to the teacher, this concentrated face as he puts de pen at the corner of his mouth. Lance could watch him for hours, him and his perfect lips, hair (even with his mullet), shining eyes... _Aie,_ _Pidge_ , that was rude: he already told her that he didn't want her to throw papers at him; “Pidge what the hell” he whispered while looking at her with a lack of understanding, “Creepy staring, baby” she answered quickly, rolling her eyes and pointing Keith with her pen.

Not even true, he wasn't staring _that_ hard. He was staring. Like, okay he was staring, but it was reasonable. Right? Right it _was_. She told him often that Keith told Shiro several times that Lance was kind of... Staring at him. Pidge had to defend her friend, because she knew why he was staring and because she didn't want to see Shiro going to have a talk with Lance. Oh no she didn't. And neither did Lance, because he knew it would end up him crushing Shiro's face -or maybe the contrary-.

Lance didn't listen to their teacher, he just imagined himself with Keith for a moment. It felt kind of... Strange and exciting at the same time? He always imagined Keith being the kind of cold/emo bad boy but really soft inside, listening to love songs, loving going to the park and stuff like this. It looked like he was _absolutely_ wrong. From what Pidge knew, Shiro and him were often in clubs enjoying the music and drinks, Lance felt jealous. He could only imagine Keith dancing, hips moving while the music echoed loudly behind him, a glass in hand while singing the lyrics of his favourite song, his head resting on Shiro's shoulder for a moment while the beat was softer, the lights clicking, hiding his face in his neck, and then Keith would touch Lance's cheek, put his forehead against his and softly, just like a secret, kiss him. Delicate lips on his. What a life, he thought resting his head on his hand, looking totally somewhere else.

“Lance you'll be partner with Keith, because you seem to listen so carefully to what I said just right now and because I need to break the duo Lance/Pidge”; his teacher said while giving him a paper.

“… What”, he finally succeeded to ask opening his eyes wide. “But siiiir, you know I'm working well with Pidge; we're like the Ying and the Yang in English”; he protested loudly.

“So I will be the one to make chaos in nature for once”, his teacher replied because he perfectly knew how both of them worked together: at the end, their exposé looked like an argument that nobody could actually follow but still, it was impressive how just their remarks were.

He wanted to test them with another partner just to see if this “Ying/Yang” chemistry was the thing that made their exposés so... Lively.

“But why with Keith”, Lance asked. “I disagree”, he lied pouting and crossing his arms.

“I actually agree with him”, Keith finally admitted raising his hand.

“Thank you, finally somebody listening to me.”

“The first and last time, air-brain.”

“Rude, Kpop.”

“You two”, the teacher intervened, “no customer complaint. You two are a group. Point. “

Pidge just rose her shoulder as Lance looked at her with a strange face that made her smile. Lance could never feel more happy and yet nervous. Keith looked at him, breathing heavily with despair. Both of them never talked much, always ended up fighting by calling themselves by stupid nicknames, challenging each other... Conflictual. And it was the only way that Lance found to talk with him. And maybe, just maybe, being so cocky with him helped him a bit, or it just destroyed all his chances to one day being his lover. Who knows. Lance looked at Pidge, she rose her thumb up smiling and looking hopeful; despite knowing that Keith was with Shiro, she somewhere, deep in her little heart, wanted Lance to be happy with Keith.

 

At the end of the hour, knowing that their exposé had to take place in two weeks and that they had a lot of work to do, Keith waited for Lance in front of the door. His black backpack leaning on his shoulder, the other shoulder against the wall. He didn't want to do this with Lance, he was quite... Annoying? Always loud and smiling. And his stupid nicknames. He couldn't bare this. But he had no choice now. As he saw Pidge passing through the door, giving her a soft smile and a little “Hey Pidge”, he knew that Lance wasn't far. Exactly, he wasn't. His hands in his pockets, he walked slowly, like avoiding him. Yes Lance, I want to avoid you too, don't you even worry.

“Hey, the Cuban”; Keith finally said and Lance looked at him with his blue eyes. “We have to schedule the whole thing to do this as fast as possible so I won't be obliged to see your stupid face”, Lance opened wide his eyes, then a smile was immediately on his face.

“Perfect, Kirito! Because if you want to know, I have seven things I hate about you”, he quoted.

“Oh my, you are stuck in 2008? Welcome to 2018 Lance, we now have internet, and guess what? Miley isn't Hannah anymore.”

“Oh sorry Kevin Jonas, I couldn't hear you through my indifference.”

“Whatever”, he cut off Lance's enthusiasm. “We must do this exposé as soon as possible anyway. I have no time to waste.”

“Yeah, I can imagine, being Bolton's cheerleader must be kind of hard”, Lance commented and seemed to regret it as soon as he said it: Keith eyes were fire. “I mean... I was going to say... That... Well...”

“Listen, I don't have time to deal with your shit. Tomorrow in the afternoon, around 2.p.m we can meet at the library. You don't come, I will do the job alone and acknowledge the teacher”; Keith was literally pissed.

How in the world he could just sum him up to being “Bolton's cheerleader” talking about Shiro and him? That wasn't true. He was more than that, and he absolutely knew it. Shiro would never treat him as his side-thing, or whatever people were saying: because Shiro actually loved him. Keith knew it because of his soft kisses, because he took his hand as often as he could, and because he cared about him. More than anybody else.

“Jeez, sorry I didn't meant to say that, or upset you... Or anything. I'll be there tomorrow then.”

“Great.”

He turned his back, stared walking through the hallway to his next class and left Lance there, alone.

 

* * *

 

 

“ _15/09/2017 Dear Diary,_

_I'm really a mess.”_

 

He loudly knocked his head against the diary, really hard. _Aie_ , bad idea. How in the world he could have offended Keith so easily? Okay, truth to be said he couldn't stop himself from saying that about Shiro: because it was true! Shiro never looked at Keith as Keith deserved to be looked at! He smiled at him, _yeah_ only when he had time and to put a show, unlike Lance. Lance smiled at him because he _wanted_ to, because he hoped that Keith one day would smile back. But that never happened.

 

“I'm really a dumb little shit. Pidge almost killed me when I told her what I said about Shiro (she's afraid that Shiro would just beat me up, I don't fear his muscles, his many hours at the gym, his strength, his fists. Not even a little.): _she_ is the real danger here! It's all this cheerleading thing... Yes, Pidgeon a cheerleader: welcome to an alternate reality in which we all are fucked up!

But, let's see the brighter face of the coin: as Hunk said I'm going to have a little moment with Keith. A moment I better don't fuck up. But who I am to doubt about myself? Pidge? Hunk? Yes, traitors, these two traitors. … But then, well... I don't know what to do tomorrow. Obviously extra skin care routine this evening, that's not even a question. Maybe my favourite blue flannel? Yeah, definitely. Nothing too fancy, too obvious... I should also make some researches about the exposé. Who would believe that Mr. Watts split Ying and Yang, and at the same time made the most beautiful thing in the universe? My hero. … Wait. THE FUCK IS THIS SUBJECT. I DISAGREE, HE'S NOT MY HERO ANYMORE. *Mr. Watts' voice* “Friendship in _How Many Miles to Babylon_ by Jennifer Johnston” … I know nothing about this book, like why couldn't we get _Romeo and Juliet_? _Pride and Prejudice_? Something known for God's _sake_!

This will be a long night. I'll take a coffee or something. No, I'll call Pidge. She's Wikipedia alive, she've been places, she must know this.

If I'm not back, bury me in Cuba, next to the sea with my guitar.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked it, leave a comment, a kudo and if you want you can find me on [Tumblr](https://zwiezraczek.tumblr.com/)


	2. first moment together and alone (but with Shiro)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“16/09/2017 Dear Diary,_
> 
> _I think I fucked up, but still it was a pretty good moment.”_
> 
> Lance felt a little bit strange. This diary could maybe help him...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm less happy about this chapter but well... I like it anyway? ^^

“ _16/09/2017 Dear Diary,_

_I think I fucked up, but still it was a pretty good moment.”_

 

Lance was sitting on the edge of his bed, foot on his desk chair and swinging them form left to right. His mind torn between the cute smile that Keith gave him and the numerous times he said him he would kill him if he wouldn't concentrate on this subject. Torn between Heaven and Hell. They seemed to have a great moment, until Shiro came all smile and muscles kissing his lover on the top of his head while Keith's head rested against Shiro's stomach as he stood behind the chair he was in. Lance felt pissed, and so he looked. Awkwardly, Shiro sat near Keith facing Lance, took a book and began to read it while they were working on this novel. What a killjoy!

 

“Today I looked good. It's not like _I'm not looking good_ everyday but... Ya know, for studies purposes (I can see you older Lance, take that smirk off right now!). I fucking spent the whole night searching about this damn novel, I had the face of a zombie in the morning: greenish skin, shadows under my eyes, you have the whole picture. So I went to my bathroom, took a shit ton of masks (all in order, don't you worry about your skin Lance!), a loong bath and... I was late for school this morning. God bless me for not being late at 2 p.m. I searched for Pidge during the whole break, because she had the book, and I wanted the book, and she had notes and these were precious as hell and needed these for our exposé and... Do I start rambling?

So, when I found Pidge it was time to go to class and thankfully it was a class that the BBF had together, and I didn't listen to anything at all because I was going through Pidge's notes about the book. I've read some shit on Wikipedia, but still it wasn't enough for me. All about a friendship that went wrong, two boys from two different worlds ending up divided by the war. End of the story. I've never been fond of books, this one was no exception. I looked at Pidge's underlined passages, her notes and... The book wouldn't speak to me, I mean I got nothing from these notes. Nothing gave me... _This_. (ya know, like the spark and the fire and all) But well, we had to work on it so... Not a big deal after all.

At noon we went at the rooftop, like everyday, and I was just there reading some passages in the book, writing stuff about it on my notebook; I could see Pidge and Hunk whispering something about me (I know they were, some kind of “Were you aware that he could actually read something without us saying him to?” “It's because it's... You know who” Guuuuys I can fucking hear you!), but I was focused on the book and my chips. But, well Pidge got me with Shakira. I mean, who in the world would not dance to one of her songs? _La Bicicleta_? Bomb. _Hips don't lie_? A classic in the musical universe. Pidge got me with her phone, standing in front of me and holding out her arm to me; no Pidge _don't you dare_ singing... But she did. And Latino blood, guitars, childhood... And I was up, dancing as Shakira began to sing. Hips moves, sharp moves, kind of belly dancing... The kind of vibes I could listen to without having enough of it. Hunk took his phone and started a video. Oh buddy, oh _mi hermano_. He exactly knew what he was doing, like he knew I would dance more and I fucking did. I felt so happy, Pidge dancing around me, holding my hand. Strike a pose. Beautiful Lance, your dance was bright, your smile as wonderful as always, your legs were bomb and fantastic man. 10/10. Thank you, thank you I know... I was talking about what again?

Oh yes, my meeting with Sasuke. He already was in the library when I came, books everywhere on his table, pencil at the corner of his mouth and a his fingers playing with his mullet. He looked too cute to be real, and to actually be studying. I took like a fucking huge breath. Go ahead Lance and shit happens. I sat in front of him, smile, and the whole “Heeey buddy!”; but he only looked at me for a second. “You're late”. Oh my shit, if you weren't so cute I wouldn't hesitate to put my fist in your face, Kpop. But then, we began to study and... Actually it was a good moment. I mean, I made him laugh once or twice (and that's a fucking treasure, you did so well Lance, you can be proud of yourself), we had a talk and all and... Shiro _fucking_ Takashi.

The fuck he was doing here?! We were supposed to work together, Keith and me, Lance and Keith, from enemies to lovers? Remember Shiro? So just... Go away?! I think I called him Bolton again, and he smiled. Oh the _shithead_. Oh let me kill him, once or twice. Please. “I hope I'm not disturbing you Keith.” “You do, Shiro.” “You're welcome, babe”. I'm diabetic. I need my Pidgo-lin, or a sasso-lin. That was gross. I mean who does that? In which alternate reality? Which country? Maybe space? China? Korea? HELL NO. HERE IN UNITED STATES NO. NOR IN CUBA. NO. VETO. V.E.T.O.

And okay, we ended the thing pretty quickly after he came, Keith said that we needed to fix some things, to do some researches together another day and it will be fine and all. Meaning: I will see Keith again, I will be able to talk with him normally, casually and stuff. Just, without Shiro. Keep your ass far away from us, Bolton.”

He finally let his diary on his lap, looking through the window. Darkness outside, some stars in the sky and trees and their leaves in the picture. He groaned, rolled his eyes and finally looked back at the filled page: what will he do the next time he will see him?

 

* * *

 

 

Keith showed up in the library really quickly, he had nothing to do after eating with his boyfriend because Shiro had some training, and Keith didn't want to be there because otherwise he would stay there forever watching his boyfriend plying, smiling at him, winking, blowing kisses... They were maybe too flirty, too cheesy, but how much he adored that. Often, while Keith sat on the bench, headphones on his ears, listening to some music his sister suggested him, Shiro came kissing his head, passing his arms on his shoulders. “You missed me, right?” “In your dreams, Takashi.” “You're a bad liar, Kogane.” “With my feelings on fire? Definitely.” Shiro just sighted. Keith knew that quoting songs, especially these commercials songs, these songs that they always heard at the club on the week-end while dancing pressed against each other, his boyfriend's hand on his waist as he had his back against Shiro's torso, that made Shiro sighing loudly with a little and beautiful smile that Keith couldn't resist. So he did it often, as often as possible to make his boyfriend smile this way.

In the distance, he could always feel Allura's gaze on them as she trained with the other cheerleaders. She was the bombshell of East High, with her white hair falling on her shoulders from this ponytail and her beautiful blue eyes looking at everybody with a teasing look. She was the director's daughter, a spoiled child everybody said, straight A's, popular and loved by literally everyone, even Lance (that she liked really much because he was funny and once tried to flirt with her and it ended... Not very well for him, but with a smile on Allura's face). Somehow, people feared her too because she was the principal's daughter and because she was able to do anything if you messed up with her. Keith always felt grateful that his boyfriend was her best friend. It always interrogated Keith: how in the world these two became best friends? They seemed to have nothing in common, yes they were the golden duo of high school but... Before? He knew practically nothing about their relationship before Shiro met him, blank space; it's not like he asked or something, he already knew that once they dated but finally they agreed on being just friends. Allura loved Keith, not as much as she loved Shiro, but she did her best. She always tried to be nice with him, at the beginning all was awkward between them, Keith being not the type of person to talk to everybody and Allura being this social joyful butterfly: it took time but Keith learned how to appreciate her long speeches, her laughs and the way she teased his boyfriend (and he became her ally sometimes, just to see despair on Shiro's face). Shiro wasn't defenceless, he teased her as much as she did. They pushed each other, always further, always more until Allura won (because she did often, and Keith could count on his fingers the number of times Shiro won a bet or a teasing session).

Last week, Allura found funny to bet that Shiro couldn't keep up drinking as much as she did; Keith even didn't try to fight against it, preparing himself to hold his boyfriend's hair in the toilets. Ten shots in a row, a hard laughing Allura flirting with anyone at a Lance level, saying stupid jokes and dancing everywhere with anybody, thankfully the whole cheerleading team was there to take care of Allura. But Keith, the poor Keith had to take care - _again_ \- of his boyfriend. His boyfriend as green as the walls in the bathroom, his boyfriend telling how a mess he was and Keith patting his shoulder gently saying that he loved him anyway. After a few moments throwing up, cleaning his face with cold water, Keith sitting on the edge of the sink, could see that his boyfriend felt better. He smiled. Keith smiled back while kissing gently his forehead. While closing his eyes, he hoped so much that Allura would finally find somebody to temper her a bit, to tell her when to stop and to help Keith having both of them under control. Because he mostly became the kind of “threat” Allura used against Shiro, and Shiro being Shiro couldn't loose (“Not this time, Al.” “Afraid of Kogane?” “I'm in.”).

Keith sighted and concentrated himself on the book he had to read for their exposé: _How Many Miles to Babylone_. About Irish and English conflict in the 20 th century. Well, some history manuals would be needed. He finally gathered a good pile of books in front of him and began to work alone. He came here early to be able to finish this project as soon as possible, because he needed some time this weekend to be with Shiro, because he had to relax a bit alone, because he couldn't bare Lance for more than an afternoon. The guy was literally a pain in the ass. Always a stupid joke coming from his mouth, a smirk on his face, winks, _stupid_ nicknames. Keith was also guilty about these, but Lance started the whole thing last year when he saw him, “Edgy Kpop singer” right? Empty coconut. It was the best he could find at the moment, and Lance seemed really disturbed about this. Maybe, or surely, nobody answered to his jests. And Keith did, because, first of all he wasn't an edgy kpop singer, and second he couldn't let anybody just call him this way for the rest of the year. He was wrong, _very_ wrong. Lance became more and more creative about nicknames, so did Keith. He tried to focus on the book, on history and all this stuff but Lance's voice just extracted him from this full concentration.

“Heeey buddy”, he shouted in the middle of the library as the librarian looked at him eyes wide open putting her index on her mouth saying “Shhh”.

“You're late”, he only replied not looking at him and making some place around him putting his backpack on the ground while having his index on a line of the history book.

“I'm not”, he protested loudly having another look from the librarian that Keith could feel as she repeated herself. “You're early”, he continued as he sat in front of him.

“I'm serious about this exposé, Lance.”

“You called me by my name, huge progress Gabriella”; he playfully answered putting the book on the table and taking something to write on it as Keith rose his eyes.

“Don't call me Gabriella, Miguel.”

“Rude. Plus I'm not blond and I'm not as stupid as he is.”

“I wouldn't say so”, he teased him looking right into his blue eyes while smirking.

“At least I have gold.”

“At least I have a future.”

“Fuck you Kogane.”

“You called me by my name, huge progress _the_ thing”, he quoted as Lance rolled his eyes.

Keith smile couldn't fade away as he saw Lance's annoyed face, this man was something, really. Teasing him was fun, more than he imagined. Finally, they managed to work a bit, and Keith felt impressed by how much Lance did for their exposé; because Pidge often said that he wasn't the kind of person who worked but it looked like... Lies now. He had a ton of papers, of notes (he recognised Pidge's writing on some of them, he couldn't blame him, he only had an evening to find informations about this subject and Pidge was always a serious person, a trustworthy person, every information was pure truth); he seemed lost in all of this, having a smile on his dark face as he ran his hand trough his hair. Keith couldn't help himself but stare at him for a moment. A little moment, nearly perceptible before Lance's eyes looked again at him, surprised. He didn't want to stare, but he did. He couldn't figure out why. Lance was annoying, that was the reason. His smirk, his jokes... All of Lance screamed “loud and not funny at all”.

“Something wrong, Hiro”, he asked while having a half-smile on his face as he looked up at Keith.

“Why would I be wrong”, he asked quickly while avoiding his blue eyes.

“Ya know, you were staring. I just asked myself if it was because I'm extremely beautiful, or because you were”, he stopped himself in the middle of the sentence.

The blue eyes were looking behind him, his mouth showed a kind of... Disgust maybe? I felt hands on my shoulders, a chin on the top of his head.

“Oh, look Bolton shown up”; Lance finally mumbled crossing his arms on the table.

Keith felt a kiss on his hair, a soft one. Shiro. He looked up to meet his gaze, as he smiled after what Lance said to him. He never complained about the nicknames, from anybody. Keith thought that he had a superpower, because if he could he would hit Lance in the face for what he was saying, but Shiro's weight didn't allow him to do so.

“I hope I'm not disturbing you Keith”, he softly whispered while looking at him.

“You do, Shiro.”

“You're welcome, babe.”

Keith could hear Lance sighing so loudly that he could swear that the librarian hushed him again, Keith caught Lance rolling his eyes before he insisted to work on the details of their exposé. When Shiro was here, or when they were talking about him, Keith saw a small change in Lance's expression. He couldn't totally name it. He just figured that it wasn't positive at all.

After a few moments, Lance left and agreed about seeing Keith again the next week to end a few things in their exposé. He waved to Keith, ignoring Shiro somehow, but Shiro didn't mind and waved back as Keith just looked at Lance who made an upset face: that made the dark haired boy smile.

“He doesn't like me”, Shiro said waving at Lance and smiling.

“No shit, I couldn't figure this out alone, thank you love”; he answered ironically.

“But he seems to like you”, he said putting his index on Keith's nose.

“Who wouldn't like me, huh?”

“Fair enough”, Shiro answered kissing his lips softly and then he pursued. “You're ready for the party this week-end”, he asked softly.

“If you and Allura have another stupid drinking bet I'll leave you, Takashi”, he threatened him perfectly knowing that the party would end by him taking care of a drunk Shiro who would show his affection maybe too much to a kind-of sober Keith.

“I can't promise anything babe”, he replied half-sorry half not. “And, by the way I don't know if Allura will be there.”

“What”, Keith was really surprised, Allura never missed a party during this year and Shiro saying she might have was... Strange?

“Yeah, she wants to help the new recruits in the whole cheerleading team...”

“She wants to have a moment with Pidge”, Keith corrected.

“True. But don't say her that I told you that.”

“You can have my silence if you kiss me.”

“You are pitiless, Kogane.”

“I had a good teacher, Takashi.”

He got what he wanted, a delicate smile on his lips while Shiro pressed his lips against his. He remembered why he fell in love with him, how he took care of him, how he treated him as an equal, how much he loved Shiro's kissed, hugs and everything about him. How people could think that Shiro didn't care about him? How Lance could?

 

* * *

 

 

Lance came to the room where the Hex Girls were waiting for him, he was absolutely late here. He couldn't even argue about it. But neither Acxa's attempts to kill him and Ezor trying to calm her down, nor the moment he took his guitar in his arms could help him when he arrived after his study session with Keith interrupted by Shiro. He scratched a few strings of his guitar, while Ezor looked pitifully at him while Acxa just crossed her arms and sighted very loudly. Both of them knew that Lance had a bad moment, because he never scratched his guitar like this and because his face was filled with a mix of sadness and anger: “sanger” as Ezor called it. Lance felt... Powerless. He couldn't stop himself from being kind of aggressive towards Shiro, he knew why he felt the urge to be mean with him, jealousy first and Keith second. But it became more than that. Now, Lance could actually talk with Keith, with a reason, okay school purposes, about anything: just Keith and Lance. And Keith had the cutest smile, or smirk, or whatever it was because it looked so pure; Lance wondered why Keith didn't smile often because he was fucking gorgeous like this. And these eyes, these purplish eyes gleaming in the light; Lance was actually really happy to catch Keith looking at him because it gave him a simple reason to gaze at him -even if it was to tease him a bit-.

Suddenly, he felt a hand on his shoulder, quick and yet delicate. He rose his eyes and saw Ezor, leaning towards him with a delicate smile on her lips. Her hair was fluffy today, giving her this Rebel vibe that Lance used to compliment often -and then she said to him that he looked like Aladin, so he couldn't really complain about that-.

“ _Sanger_ ”, she asked.

“ More anger than sadness, but thank you for pointing this out Ez'.”

“Anytime”, she answered sitting next to him. “So, what happened this time?”

“It was all about... What, why _this_ time”, he asked pouting a bit and looking at her.

“Because when you take your guitar to play like a goddamn bee here it's because you're annoyed, or “smad” as Ezor says”; Acxa answered as Lance rose his eyes to look at her coming closer.

-“ _Sangry_ ”, Ezor corrected her friend pointing her with her index. “But that's a good one too.”

“But that's not the point”, Acxa answered after rolling her eyes hand on her hips. “What happened, the boy?”

“Shiro's fault”, he mumbled still pouting like a child.

“Let me take something to drink, and I'll bitch with you Lance”; Acxa cut him middle phrase and turned herself to take a bottle of apple juice then sat next to him sipping it. “You can begin, I'll follow.”

Lance looked at her suspiciously. Acxa never showed affection neither disaffection towards people (except for Ezor, both of them were seen as the lesbian couple in the school and both of them couldn't deny it because they looked really cute together and even Lance wanted them to be together but... He wouldn't admit it.), but when it came to Shiro she was really open to throw as much dirt as she could at him, saying how much she hated him, how dumb he looked with his hair -alleluia, Lance wasn't the only one-, how his smiles looked fake and... Every compliment about Shiro was banished from Acxa's mouth. Lance felt always surprised seeing this smart, reasonable girl being so childish about Shiro. He never asked why. Because he never said totally why he disliked Shiro so much, because the girls shouldn't know about his love for Keith and because it felt personal. Maybe too personal.

“So, tell me what Takashi did this time”, she asked fluttering eyelashes while having the apple juice in her hand. I'd love to hear that.

“You're hopeless, Ax”; commented Ezor. “It's not this way it will help you accept”, Axca put a finger on Ezor's lips to order the silence and Ezor did what she asked rolling her eyes as dramatically as Lance used to do.

“Well, I was working with”, the girls looked at him eyes wide open. “I can work, don't Pidge and Hunk me please!”

Ezor and Acxa laughed loudly as Lance crossed his arms on his chest, sulking a bit. Ezor gave him a kiss on his cheek, and only then he continued his story. Axca listened really carefully, smiling sometimes when he spoke about all of this; she seemed concentrated, her fingers in her hair curling them. And only when he finished the whole story, how Shiro just came and interrupted the whole study moment having the whole attention of the other student, chatting with him, laughing with him (without talking them about the kiss, about the whole happiness he had while being with Keith and Keith only); he sighted as loud as he could.

“What a bitch”, Acxa said while Ezor hit her with her elbow. “What? I'm right. He's the biggest bitch in this high school.”

“It's not because you hate him that you have to say that, Ax.”

“I know, but I do. And for once I agree with the boy. Shiro is plague we all must avoid.”

“Thank you sister, amen and God bless you”, Lance answered joining his hands.

“Don't call me sister.”

“Rude.”

“And you say I'm the one who is hopeless with Lance”, Ezor asked playfully. “Look at yourself.”

Fluttering eyelashes, having her bottle in one hand, Axca showed Ezor her middle finger and kissed it while winking at her.

“You're gross Ax.”

“That's why you're my best friend. Well, now we bitched together agreeing about what to think about Bolton...”

“Great nickname”, Lance cut off.

“We must rehearse for our concert for next week-end, I changed some little things and I have to share this with you guys.”

She got up, making her way to her bag and after a few seconds she had a notebook in her hand. She gave the two of them a list of what they were performing this night (featuring Lance of course, how couldn't he make Acxa sing some Shakira's songs and sing in Spanish?). Axca had some talent with writing music, but she always feared showing it, Lance once tried to convince her to show them her song... _Never_ happened, _didn't_ happened, this moment in the history is gone now, and Lance knows it _very_ well. So they sing covers, it's good enough to be able to play in local bars sometimes or at basketball games. So Lance looked at the covers they had to do, looked at the Hex and got up.

“Okay Hex Girls, we have a lot to do today so let's begin the whole thing!”

“Says the one who came here all “sangry” and stuff”, Ezor said teasing him a bit. “And the one who actually made Ax bitching about Shiro after a few days of my hard work, my herculean work to avoid this!”

“Don't be so dramatic Ezor”, complained Acxa rolling her eyes. “Besides, I needed that.”

“I can't hear you all over my positive thoughts”, Ezor joyfully sang, her hands all over her ears as she smiled.

“Remind me, why do I love you again”, Acxa asked her with a smile on her face.

“Because we are both handsome”, Lance asked putting his hand on his hip and Ezor did the same, both had a beautiful smile on their faces and Acxa couldn't help herself but smile.

“You need to see a doctor, but you're funny so I agree to keep you. Jeez, with who do I have to work?”

“Two handsome bi”, Ezor asked.

“Hopeless, bi the way.”

Ezor and Lance exchanged a look, a surprised one before screaming together, “She made a pun! She made a pun!”, and Acxa finding them more hopeless than before but with a little smile on her face.

 


	3. a big discovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _“17/10/2017 Dear Diary,_
> 
> _It's been a long time without you and a lot happened”_
> 
> Lance forgot his diary, he had too much on his mind lately.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really like how this chapter turned out. Especially on Keith's side ^^

“ _17/10/2017 Dear Diary,_

_It's been a long time without you and a lot happened”_

 

During the previous weeks, Lance's life became hell and heaven at the same time. Several surprises for him, a flourishing friendship, a new more lovely Pidge, more pining around (especially for him and Allura) and... He just had no time to write, and he missed writing inside of his diary, because it felt like leaving something behind him for his future self. It had sadly only two days, because Lance was lazy and because he leaves things as soon as he begins them; and that is what happened with his diary. But now, he has time; he has enough time to sit and sipping some chocolate to write what happened the previous weeks. All in details, all Lance.

 

“Everything was so W.I.L.D. during these weeks. I mean, every-fucking-thing. So where will I begin the whole thing? Oh yes, the basketball game.

We had one of our concerts in a little bar a few weeks ago (and Ax casually sang _Hips don't lie_ by Shakira with me singing in Spanish, I absolutely don't regret Pidge filming me on stage and me singing with the whole suave voice as if I was a kind of Don Juan or I don't know who), and Keith was here. And my God, I just felt... I don't know. First of all: why was he there? Like, from al the bars he had been in, why this one in particular? Like why? And to be honest, I had a billion of thoughts on my mind at this moment, it was just after our exposé (we worked together after the Shiro session, with Shiro again, because why would Bolton miss a moment with his Gabriella?) and seeing him here... That was strange? I mean, I see him at school like everyday and that is fine, I can stare at him, let my heart beat, tired of feeling never enough I close my eyes and tell myself that my dreams will come true (yes I quote Yuri on Ice, where is the problem dear future me?). But seriously, I don't know how I managed to look as cool as I did (from what I saw on Pidge's phone) while feeling a bunch of butterflies in my stomach fighting against each others. I must be a demi-god or something like that; or Cuban genes. Yes, the Cuban genes for sure.

First of all, it was insane that Ax sang like this. She sings well and God knows that, but that night that was something beyond control on this Shakira song. Shakira herself was with her I'm sure. And to make long story short, because we're all interested in knowing why I'm speaking about this night and why it's linked with the basketball game, Shiro came to talk with the group. Acxa's face and mine were as precious as the photos that Pidge took of both of us shows: disgusted faces and stuff and all. And he proposed to us, because he apparently can appreciate good music (only quality that we could allow him with Ax), to play before the basketball game. Ezor answered for the three of us, and it's how we ended up rehearsing for a show that we didn't planned at all. But, I mean that can be cool and stuff. That will be so much HSM and that's... Great? Fantastic? Beautiful? Perfect? (Yes older Lance, you were and are still in love with Chad and you hope that one day he'll come and you believe that he will and then you'll have to choose between him and Keith: pain in the ass) I could prove live, to the whole school, that Shiro isn't the one who's cool in this school, because man Lance's too cool for you. He thinks he's hot but sorry he's not; exactly who he thinks he is? (now it's Camp Rock, even better Lance)

And for the exposé. Oh my shit. Buddy. That was even worse than with Pidge, we had a HUGE argument in front of the whole class (Pidge was dead of laughter inside, I could see it in her eyes and the teacher “found the problem in the duo Pidge and Lance” as I quote) because Keith was sure that the two characters were together and I was sure they were not. That would be more obvious! I mean, censorship and all but gay is gay and here, excuse me no gay in there. It wasn't Oscar Wilde and obviously not Lady Gaga. Sorry Keith, I love you with my whole heart but no. And seriously, we had fun doing this exposé. I mean, I tried to be funny, he laughed (and that was the most adorable smile in the world, you can't tell me otherwise or I'll kill you older Lance; he's so cute when his lips curve in this particular way, when he puts his hand in front of his mouth to cover the fact that he wants to laugh so much, his smiling eyes and his whole face... Kill me and tell me that I'll see this in heaven.), we teased a bit each other and actually... The more I know him the more I crush. And that's a good and a bad new. Good because it's a year that I'm crushing and now I can proudly say that it's more than a fucking crush, but that I'm fucking too shy (I'll admit it once, not twice so shut up older Lance) to tell him, because bad new: Shiro. I mean, fuck Takashi. Not that way, but still. But, when I finally find somebody that I actually like, love, adore, crush on it must be someone who is already with somebody; and how much it would be easier if it wasn't the #1 boy in the school, the one that even Pidge likes (I already said that she's difficult and the fucker got her even in cheerleading: welcome in 2k17 people) (but I still have Ax on my side, God bless her dark witch soul)!

Speaking of Pidge, I can clearly see what's happening at her “cheerleading” meetings; with dad Hunk we already know what's going on. I'm her child, but I'm sorry here we see that she cheats on dad. Obvious at 16456%. … But she can't see Allura pining around her and that's _fucking_ crazy. She's _so_ obvious. I mean, she's so sweet with Pidge, not that she's not sweet with everybody (especially me, I must admit that she adores me since the moment we met each other at this bar and talked about our queen Beyonce herself -God bless her and her family- and we found out we've been at the same concert three years ago and now we could talk about music for hours) but especially with Pidge and that hurts to see her trying so much and Pidge being just like “Oh, she's so nice to me! I'm so lucky that she's so nice to me”. You.stupid.moron. Open your eyes!!! … Okay, now I'm pissed.”

 

He sighted looking at the ceiling. Pidge wasn't the only thing that was on his mind: Keith seemed to like him. A bit maybe. And that was enough for Lance, he felt happier because even if he couldn't have what he wanted he had a bit less than that and that was already something good. He took another sip of his chocolate. Everything was crazy these days, and playing before this basketball game was something he never wished for, he could just imagine that one day he could perform at the prom maybe with the group, at the prom in front of Keith. At the same time, he didn't want to perform at prom because he couldn't dance with Keith, as friend, he couldn't drink with Keith, as a friend, he couldn't kiss Keith, obviously not as a friend. But then, he thought about Shiro: the one who actually made everything impossible while being kind to all of them, especially Lance (because Shiro knew that Lance disliked him, and he wanted Lance to be his friend because Keith liked him). He put the diary on his desk, and went to the kitchen.

 

* * *

 

They had one week before the basketball game. And Lance was ready to play the guitar, to sing with Acxa and to Ezor's rhythms, to enjoy this moment as never. And he was there, with his BBF's, on the roof with sun on his face and his head against the wall next to Pidge who plugged her earbud into his ear to make him listen some French music she discovered the past week -the song that Allura showed her after a practice with a genuine smile, as Pidge said: open your eyes Pidgeon!-. Lance wasn't really listening to this song, but looking at Hunk who was making his maths homework with a concentrate face. Hunk was really silent, and that's why Lance appreciated him so much. He was the kind of person which whom the moments of silence weren't awkward, but relaxing. The fact that he was here already calmed Lance a bit; because Lance was ready for the game, but his heart wasn't. He already talked with Hunk, they chatted during whole nights and Hunk knew how much this moment bothered Lance. Because Lance wouldn't admit it out of loud, being so close to Keith made him nervous and it was the reason he was so cocky with him, the reason why he gave him various nicknames, the reason why he became unpleasant when Shiro came. And Lance was afraid, maybe petrified on his own. That's why he tried to avoid the subject, that's why he played so much the guitar lately (making his family going crazy because of it, his sister even throwing her towel at him).

“Lance”, Hunk said without even looking at him and Lance blinked a few times before realising Hunk was talking to him. “About the rehearsals, how are you doing with the Hex?”

“Weeeell”, Lance answered thinking a bit about it as Pidge rose her head from Lance's shoulder to look at him, interested by the conversation. “We have our song, Acxa choose something good and Ezor does great so...”

“And you”, Hunk pursued his nose in the book looking as he didn't care about what he was asking.

“Nervous as hell? I don't know. It's kind of okay to play in front of strangers...”

“Hem”, Pidge cut off angrily looking at him.

“... And you. Pidgeon, let me finish my sentences! It's not because Allura allows you to do so that you have the right to do the same with me”, he reproached her with a little smile. “Speaking of Allura and you”, Lance teased Pidge a bit with a nudge.

“Yes”, Pidge asked fluttering eyes and straightening up.

“Don't play the innocent Pidge. I can see and feel it. You're cheating on dad, and both of us are proud about it.”

A long silence from Pidge who seemed lost in all of this; but Lance's smile couldn't fade from his face as her incomprehension grew bigger.

“What the fuck are you saying?”

“Language Pidge”, asked Hunk raising his head and looking at his friends.

“What the Lance and Keith”, Pidge corrected herself with a smirk.

“Hey”, protested Lance taking off his earbud. “Rude.”

“As rude as you saying to me that Allura and I are... I don't know what you imagine, Shaggy.”

“Everybody knows that Daphne and Velma are lesbian together”, Lance answered obviously. “It's just a matter of time for Velma to notice that and finally move her fucking ass and think why the damn fuck Daphne is so kind with her.”

“... And to Lance, no _language_ ”, asked Pidge rising her eyebrow and crossing her arms on her chest.

“No, because he's right”, said Hunk looking at Pidge with a sorry smile. “Sorry Pidge.”

“Helpful friend, Hunk.”

“Don't be mad at me Pidge”, he replied with a soft smile on his face. “I'm just exhausted to see the two of you and love and... Nevermind.”

“Huuuuuunk”, Lance and Pidge groaned together as one.

“I can't hear you, maths call. Like booty call but less interesting.”

“Lance, that's your fault”, Pidge commented about Hunk's words opening exaggeratedly wide her eyes and looking at Lance. “Give me my pure Hunk back. Do you hear me, Lance McClain”, she asked dramatically taking Lance's shirt in her hands.

And both Lance and Hunk laughed, and Pidge finally did too.

 

* * *

 

“The Hex Girls and the Boy” were chilling in their room, they had enough of everything, of rehearsing, of singing, of playing the guitar, of thinking about this concert 24/7. And Acxa and Lance blamed Ezor for this, the poor Ezor who just stuck her tongue out and crossed her arms until she wasn't “mad” at them anymore. Allura sometimes came to see them, she was the principal's daughter after all and had the right to know what was happening -and her dad waned to know too so-, and a friend of Lance now. She came there, and she slowly began to confess about her little crush on Pidge to Lance, hoping that Lance would be able to help her. And sure he was, he was so much hyped by this idea that he wanted both of them at the next concert “The Hex Girls and the Boy” gave after the basketball game, a few weeks after. And Lance had maybe a plan, and maybe this plan would work, and he hoped it did. Because he knew Allura was a cool girl, and because Pidge was his best bro -sis-.

Ezor sat on the little stage they had with her phone watching some tutorials to make a beautiful hairstyle for the concert, Lance was lying on the stage with his phone above his face looking at some photos he took with Pidge and Hunk on the roof. Acxa was on her phone, scrolling the images on her Instagram when a voice made her rise her head. And Lance knew this voice, he knew this voice maybe a bit too much. Because it was the voice that gave him butterflies in his stomach, and it was the voice that he loved to hear, especially when the voice was laughing. Keith.

~~

“Ax, sorry to interrupt your”, Keith began seeing the whole group on their phones and doing nothing, “social media meeting and stuff but I need the keys.”

“The keys”, Acxa rose her eyebrow as if he was asking the moon. “I was sure that you were staying at your boyfriend's flat tonight” she said before adding, “and mom wasn't really happy about it, I can assure.”

“Acxa, you did what, Keith angrily asked coming inside near Acxa who had a playful smile on her face.

“Told mom that you were staying with Bolton tonight.”

“You too calling him Bolton”, Keith was desperate about this and everybody could hear it; he sighted as loud as he could looking at her and crossing his arms. “Fine. I will deal with mom, but please Ax give me the keys. I need to go back home, _now_.”

“You know that mom and dad are there? I mean, you and Bolton can't make out there”, Keith was exhausted by what she said and rolled his eyes and groaned.

Then, he remembered a little thing: Lance was in the room. Definitely looking at him, with his blue eyes and maybe a smile on his tanned face. He had another subject to tease him about, and Keith had enough of it. He sometimes wanted to make him shut up, by any way; he once even thought about kissing him just to shut him up. Then he remembered that he couldn't, that Shiro was there.

“For God's sake, Ax! Give me these keys”, Keith said rising his voice and trying to reach Acxa's bag.

“Wait”, Lance suddenly said straightening up stopping the sibling's battle. “Kirito is your brother”, he finally managed to ask with an insecure voice.

“We have the same family name, so it was obvious for me”, Axca answered looking at Lance and having the keys in her hand before Keith and suddenly he took advantage of this moment to steal the keys from her hands. “You fucker...!”

“Sorry”, Keith replied with a smile on his face before facing Lance. “She's my sister since birth, yes I think. Haven't you remarked this, you the great Lance”, he asked with a teasing attitude and a mocking smile on his face now.

“I'm sorry, your sister has no mullet, I couldn't figure this out without such a clue”, Lance answered playfully entering the game Keith started.

“Anyway. It proves my theory of your half-empty brain, and that's totally enough for me.”

“And that proves me that this mullet was a choice. A very bad choice”, Lance said shaking his head with disapproval. “I was sure it was something that was in your DNA, but now Sasuke I'm really disappointed. More than the time you left Konoha.”

Keith had no idea about what shit Lance was talking about, but he could only look at his little smile when he finished speaking. And that made Keith afraid, because he shouldn't think that Lance was attractive -of course he could, Shiro always told him that it was ok to have a little crush- because it was more than that, he actually wanted to kiss him for no reason. And for him, it meant nothing. Or it meant the world, he couldn't figure this out. He was afraid, because he loved Shiro as much as he could, and this love was a true love but Lance... He was different from Shiro -of course he was!-. On a lot of points. Lance was a dork, a lovely dork that spoke before thinking, that called Keith by stupid nicknames he was now used to for a month -after their group work they continued fighting about the book because Keith knew he was right, and no matter what he had to win this argument-, that had beautiful blue eyes and a cute accent in Spanish. He remembered this night, in the bar where he was because Acxa invited him and finally the whole group came -meaning Shiro and Allura, and on the other hand Pidge and Hunk because Lance invited them-, he remembered how resting his back against Shiro's chest he moved his head in rhythm until Lance began to sing. Shiro's hands on his hips weren't a big deal, seeing Lance moving with his guitar and singing made him crazy. He had a sparkle in his eye, something that Keith saw when he looked at him. For a moment, he wished that Shiro's hand were Lance's and that Keith was the guitar he held in his arms. Especially when his tongue rolled the “r” in Spanish while he responded to what his sister sang during this moment -he couldn't focus, he didn't know what she sang that night and only remembered Lance singing this song-, he could feel the vibration against his neck, or was it Shiro's breath? He couldn't remember. He ended up dancing against Shiro's torso, burring his head while blushing, half-ashamed of what he felt, but quickly forgiven by a soft kiss from Shiro's lips. And then he forgot, for a moment this doubt that lived in his heart.

Now, the doubt grew stronger seeing Lance so close. Not as close as he did during their studying sessions, but Shiro wasn't here. And Shiro was the only one who could catch enough Keith's attention that Keith wouldn't actually notice how Lance's smile was: bright and beautiful.

“Listen to me, Despacito, I don't know what you are talking about and actually don't want to know”, he said rolling his eyes as if he wasn't impressed by this smile. “So, people have a nice evening on social media instead of practising for your concert.”

“You know nothing, John Mullet”, Lance called-out Keith.

“I know much more than you do, Tequila.”

“Not sure about that, Mulan.”

“Why always girl”, Keith protested hearing Ezor's little laugh.

“Mullet, it's the only explanation I have.”

“Whatever”, Keith finally said waving his hand and moving to the door. “Have a nice rehearsal, or whatever you were all doing”.

As he left, he could hear Lance screaming at Acxa about him and her being siblings, and it made him smile.

 

* * *

 

“ _28/10/2017 Dear Diary,_

_Today I felt betrayed by my fellows.”_

 

Still a bit chocked about what he learnt this evening, what he texted immediately to Hunk and Pidge who apparently knew everything -was he the only stupid one to not know? Yes probably-, and he felt somehow betrayed. Because nobody told him, but it was obvious, right? So why did they keep this as a secret? Or maybe why Lance couldn't see this?

 

“Okay. Today was a rough day. It's D-2 before the basketball game, I'm stressed as hell and al this stuff. But. Something more important to tell. Oh my shit, buddy you should really sit down for a moment and take a cup of alcohol, or of coffee because that's hard.

Acxa and Keith are siblings. … I know right?! I mean how I couldn't see this bi myself bifore? (sorry, this pun was essential to my life)

They have nothing in common. Acxa wears a beanie and Keith doesn't. She has indigo hair, he doesn't. She wears leather jackets and he does too. They have the same gesture when they run their fingers through their hair, the same mimics (more or less) and... Okay I crushed on both of them but one of them just told me to fuck off when I tried (if you find this Acxa, you broke my heart in a billion pieces that I couldn't manage to glue together and then your brother broke it again. Kogane family is a cursed family I swear) so I don't want the other to do the same. But... Shit, I mean how I couldn't see that? Why Pidge didn't tell me this information? She's evil, an evil Pidgeon.

The fact is that, when Keith came in the room earlier I was looking at some photos I took on the roof with BBF (on which Pidge tries to kill me, but that's a detail she'll know on her birthday) (and I have to reconsider Pidge being my bro since she knew and didn't want to tell me; Hunk is too precious to be mad at him anyway) and I was listening to what they were talking about and then... When Acxa started speaking about “mom and dad” I died. Literally. I was hit by a bus and dead. And when half-dead, I'm the master to say stupid things and call Keith “Kirito” and then “Mulan”: but he called me “Despacito” and “Tequila”! … That was after I called him “Kirito”, but still he dared! If he wasn't so damn cute... Okay, he's too cute to get me mad at him and he's too inspiring to let him being mad at me. Since, ya know, we are kind of friends now... More or less, rivals or something but... It's already more that I could imagine for the moment, for both of us. And I appreciate this situation. Okay, I'm complaining all the time and Hunk probably wants to kill me (I love you buddy) because of that but still ... It's a huge step for me to like... Be friends with the guy I have a crush on? The guy to which I'm singing songs alone in my corner, in Spanish, from Disney movies because I'm too lovely and pure (I'm an angel).

This page becomes too much love for me. I must stop this or I'll end up crying like the last night when I thought that I would end up alone, with five dogs and a cat, without a lover by my side. … I was tired and it was 3.a.m. okay? Don't judge me older Lance!”

 

Lance, sitting on the edge of his bed with his diary in hands finally let himself lay on his bed. He closed his eyes for a moment and remembered the song he played a few moments ago, thinking about Keith. It was all soft, full of an impossible love, and of Lance towards Keith. He saw him, in his castle and with the dragon keeping an eye on his Keith, a black and white dragon; Keith who didn't wanted to be loved by Lance, to know the true love he had for him and the passion that burned inside of him. He could die for him, Lance knew that he would do this for Keith but Keith didn't know this. So Lance, between his tears enjoyed being his “friend”, somebody he appreciated finally after a rough start. He couldn't wish for a kiss, right?

 

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked it, leave a comment, a kudo and if you want you can find me on [Tumblr](https://zwiezraczek.tumblr.com/)


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